Category Archives: General Angst and Bullshit

Lying Liars Who Lie

When I posted my big shit-fit about all the lying cocksuckers in this business, I was pretty surprised by the people who were offended about it, since I was speaking almost exclusively about people who made me a promise and then made some stupid excuse not to keep it.

But I hit a lot of people I regarded as innocent with that salvo.

Some of them were angry, and came to me spitting bile about how I didn’t do my job and tell them about my upcoming launches, so it’s not their fault.

Others were hurt, and came to me plaintively asking if I was sure I didn’t want them as friends anymore just because they didn’t mail for me.

It took me a while to figure out that what was happening here was that these people felt guilty, because even though they didn’t promise me anything… they still felt like they should have done something.

And what absolutely nobody seems to have gotten is that I’m not angry at individual people. I’m angry at this piece of shit industry that has taken good, decent, honest people and made them into dickheaded fucktards who say “I can’t mail for your product because you don’t have any EPCs.” No shit, dumbass, nobody can buy it yet. EPCs are zero and they’re going to stay zero until 1 PM Eastern on Thursday.

And I don’t blame those people, because they started out good people. It’s this Goddamn industry that does it. It’s the relentless pursuit of cash over all things that turns these people into retarded shitheads that say “I’ll help you!” and then say “oh, sorry, I had something else to do that made me more money.”

That’s why I didn’t ask for your help, fuckwad. You had better things to do. Then you offered, and I said “hey, that’s great, thanks!” – except I get jack shit because, gee, you had better things to do. So did I. In fact, I have pretty much always got better things to do than sit around waiting for someone else to do a fucking job that they’re not doing.

If you’re one of the four people who volunteered to do something and then repeatedly said “haha, I’m sorry, I had to go make money” – bear in mind, I’m not angry at you personally. I’m angry at the pattern. I’m angry at the common thread that binds all of this together: this shithole of an industry. I understand and accept that occasionally someone will offer something and not follow through.

But four fucking times?

If it was the same person, this is where you start saying “thanks, but no thanks” when they offer to do shit. But it’s not one person. It’s four people. Four entirely different people doing entirely different jobs for entirely different reasons.

That’s not the people. It’s something else. It’s where you have to stop looking at names, and you start looking at patterns. How are these people alike? What do they have in common? Because it’s not the individuals that are the problem, it’s the class of people they represent.

Nobody Understands Me

It often seems like 90% or more of my time talking to other people is spent explaining in the nicest way possible that apparently they are completely fucking retarded.

A lot of people are going to read that and imagine me screaming and jumping about with veins pounding in my forehead, for example, when the reality is I’m just sitting here rather dispassionately.

Honestly, this is not the face of rage.

That’s how I look right now, seconds after writing the above. It’s pretty much the way I look most of the time. I’m just looking at my screen and thinking “what the fuck is wrong with these people?” because that’s more or less all I can do.

It’s not like I could punch anybody, or choke a bitch, or grab someone and shake them until they listen to reason. None of those things would work, anyway. There’s this old saying, “you can lead a man to reason – but you can’t make him think.”

So I spend a lot of time sitting here typing some variation of “no, I did not say that, you are making shit up because you are either stupid or evil and honestly I don’t think you’re smart enough to be evil.”

Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.

I’m not bothered if you disagree with me. I disagree with a lot of people. That’s fine. What annoys me – and it is, honestly, just an annoyance; it only makes me roll my eyes and shrug – is that people often do not have the slightest Goddamn clue why they disagree with me.

Like the whole Ted Nugent thing. Ted Nugent said some things I don’t like. Nothing illegal. Nothing overt. Just stuff I don’t like, because there are certain implications. Mainly because he said them at an NRA meeting. Although to be honest, Ted Nugent is basically a comic book character and should probably be considered roughly as threatening as one.

Now, Ted Nugent was on the lineup for a concert to be held at Fort Knox, which – if you didn’t already realise this – is an Army base. But the Army said “you know, those comments were uncalled for, so you’re off the schedule.”

Kind of the way someone might be kicked off the breast cancer benefit concert for saying “Who cares about tit cancer? You can still fuck a bitch with no tits. Now, pussy cancer, that’s something we should be fighting. Susan B. Komer is just a stupid cunt.”

Do I really have to point out that I don’t actually believe any of that, and just said it as an example of “here is something really offensive someone might say” for rhetorical purposes? (Yeah. Yeah, I do. Because people are fucking stupid.)

From my perspective, it’s certainly possible – and even likely – that the people in charge of the breast cancer benefit might go “hey, you know, Susan is kind of our boss… maybe we shouldn’t put that person on the stage.”

But Ted Nugent is like a martyr or some shit. Because an awful lot of people seem to think the Army telling him he can’t perform is the beginning of martial law in America under the iron fist of that socialist dictator all those stupid fucking liberals elected.

Wait, what? Are you serious? We’re living under martial law because Ted Nugent can’t play Fort Knox? Obama is a socialist dictator because his friends won’t hire the douchebag who insulted him?

This is retarded.

Oh noes! The iron fist of Obama has stopped us from sitting through a half-dozen pointless bullshit songs waiting for “Cat Scratch Fever.”

Now, if you think this, I’m not angry at you for being stupid. I just think that, you know, maybe you would be better off if you were… well, not so stupid.

But most ignorance is willful, so if you start arguing with me about it and insisting that Obama is so a socialist (and as we all know, every socialist is an iron-fisted dictator bent on instituting martial law, so this is the only important part) because he wants everyone to have health care… well, I’ll just say it out loud. “Most ignorance is willful,” I’ll say, and wander off to be around less stupid people.

And it’s not because you disagree with me. It’s because you’re fucking stupid, and you don’t care, and you’ll actively fight to stay that way. The problem I have with what you said isn’t that I don’t believe Obama is a socialist; it’s that I don’t believe this is a step toward martial law, and I don’t think it’s an “iron fist” if a musician gets booted from a concert, and I don’t think you’re a dictator if you don’t give people who hate you a job.

But you just want to stick to the one little thing you said which doesn’t mean anything: “Obama is a socialist.” Which is a pretty Goddamn good indication that you’re a waste of my fucking time, so later, dude. I’ll check in with you some other time and see if you’ve stopped being such a moron.

And look:

Still not angry.

WordPress Themes Are Often By Idiots

You know what really sucks about using a WordPress theme not because you can’t build a website, but because you don’t want to?

You can see every stupid piece of shit thing they fucked up.

The ProSense theme I’m using at this writing looks just fine on the front page, but if you click through to the single-post pages you’ll find that the sidebars jump down to the bottom of the page.

Why? I don’t know. The code looks like it was written by fucking monkeys, and I got so tired of fixing shit in it that I just said “fuck it” and left it.

Later, I’ll get a theme that doesn’t suck moldy sloth cocks, and all these problems will be fixed.

But I have better things to do right now, so if it really does offend you that I don’t give a shit where the sidebars are, fuck you.